You are in constant change, so is life and so are people around you.

As one walks the path of trauma to intentionally sink in deeper within one’s safety nest of the nervous system and the body, one consciously and/or unconsciously engages in gathering the fragmented parts of one’s authentic self.

This constant walk of meeting trauma, some days we drag ourselves through, other days we crawl and at times, we knee in agony as the walk happens and deepens within us.

As our relating to our sense of safety inside and within changes and evolves, so does our relating with the external world. what we see, feel, hear, perceive, witness and experience as safety evolves the more deeper we sink into safety within our nervous system, our body and our somatic and cognitive experiences of life.

What we once identified as unsafe then evolves into something else.

One powerful question that I have been sharing in my group and personal sessions are:

“Am I safe right here right now?”

As you pause to read these words, “Am I safe right here right now?”

This “now” refers to right here right now, not the next minute or hour or day.

This simple question has the power to eject us out of our cognitive distortions, out of our drama, out of our sense of unsafety, out of sense of something bad is about to happen.

As we begin to become aware that we are safe right here right now, if we pause long enough to ease physically through the breaths, we are teaching ourselves at all levels that safety is experienced and held.

|Pause and Breathe Deep|

Breath-in deep and Breath-out slow.

Repeat this cycle for at least 10times

And the more we move into this practice, the more our relating with our inner world, our nervous system, our body, our cognitive world ease out, change and transform.

This easing out enhances the quality of change that will keep reverberating through within us and hence impacting our relating with the external world.

The reminiscences of our past ways of “being” and “doing” linger for some time which is why many of us will still cringe when old situations repeat in new contexts with same persons or new persons.

I experience this cringing as the call for deep compassion for our system that has grown into protecting us and it’s investment in protecting will take time to ease out and we play a huge role in this act of easing out.

Here is an invitation, as we walk to reclaim those fragmented part of our authentic selves through our embodiment of safety, we have an opening to summon curiosity in experiencing “that which “ we have been used to with new eyes, ears, hands, legs, heart, mind and being.

This movement is about coming heart to heart, body to body, nervous system to nervous system to “that which” we called and named “familiar unsafe” through new eyes, ears, hands, legs, heart, mind and being. This experience comes into being through curiosity, walking through this process,

“What if there is more that I am yet to see, hear, feel and witness?

What if there is more than the quality of unsafety?”

And the inner whispers,

“With my embodied safety and inner resilience, I stand on my grounds as I face that which I have called and named “familiar”. I have changed and I bring my changed self to this meeting.”

For many of us, we will not be open to, willing to and ready to bring our changed-self to this meeting of “that what” we have called and named as “familiar unsafe”. This is path to be honored and hold as sacred.

We are in constant change, so is life and so are people around us.

As we deepen our path to reclaiming and holding those fragmented parts of our authentic self, our sense of safety changes and deepens. We start experiencing a different quality of presence and grounding.

If we dare even for a second to bring that changed-self to what we have called and named “familiar unsafe”, we may be surprised that through our walk, this ‘familiar unsafe” no more holds power upon us.

We are in constant change, so is life and so are people around us.

Who you were at the beginning of this write-up is no more the same at the end of this write-up.

Who I was at the beginning of my musing is no more same.

I have changed through these words and I bring this changed-self as I return heart to heart, body to body, nervous system to nervous system facing the “familiar unsafe”.

Love from my heart to yours

Love from my body to yours

Love from my nervous system to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2021

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2021. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

Life, a Path of Choices

The shape, the form and the structure of our life right here right now, is a series of choices that grew and expanded consciously and unconsciously, intentionally and unintentionally over the years.

What choices do you engage in every day?

What do you do everyday that either reinforce power or drain power out of your choices?

Who is leading your choices?
Are these your choices?
Are you living someone else's choices?

Choosing comes from a space of deep power ownership. Power is owned fully when there is awareness about the intentions and the driving forces behind the choices.

In two years, I will turn 40 and I see empowerment with different lenses. I see women empowerment unlike what I saw, believed and acted as 10 years ago. I see, live, feel, hear and experience empowerment as choices, a dance of negotiation of where, when, why, who, what and how I choose to focus my energy and resources.

I have danced the wave of “I can be and do it all.” And today I see how I joined a movement of burn out women. Today, I understand that my full presence differs and oscillates daily and despite myself many years ago, I bought into the dream of “be and do it all”.

Telling women that, “ you can be a mother, an amazing writer, a fully present daughter, a great lover, a committed sister, a dedicated community member and add in more and give your hundred percent.”

Most women will not admit the sense of overwhelming and utter shame and guilt at acknowledging that we are unable to meet up to these dreams and aspirations.

I have been reflecting on how women shout that they can be it all and yet most women are cycling the never ending cycles of burn out.

I say these words for the women spread across the globe, cycling the burn-out cycles, screaming at the lack of structural support. There is lack of structural, community, societal and global support. Support to enhance one’s quality of life along with one’s choices. This lack of support is beyond the not-enough involvement and lack of presence and engagement of partners, communities, families and networks in women’s life. Infact, there is nothing on earth that can support women who have taken on board more than what is humanly possible.

In time of great transition, this is a needed conversation.

Our full presence to our choices will differ everyday through every breaths and through every moves.

For every choice we make, we will have to bargain, negotiate, put to rest, park aside, let go of other aspects of our lives.

From choosing how much time you dedicate to your life, there will be choices that will impact on your family life, on your presence with your children, your partner and your close ones. From choosing to complete a project, you may miss out on an important family gathering.

I choose where to focus my energy and how much energy I can invest. A choice that I go back to every day, every hour and at times every minutes. I have had to practice learning to choose, to decide and to commit. I have had to learn to muscle my power to choose. Through each choice that I activate and engage in, I experience a mix of comfort and discomfort.

All my choices came, come and will come with a share of negotiating. Going to bed early means I miss more time in my family evening gatherings. Running sunday morning yoga classes means I will not have late sunday mornings. Focusing on my studies means that I spend my weekend reading and documenting. Maintaining my personal practice means I miss afternoon walks on saturday afternoons with my close ones.

I have learned on the way to ease out from doing and being more than what my focus could allow me. I have learned that I will fool myself if I am ever to take hundred items on plate believing that I could give my hundred percentage to each item equally.

Had it been not for the health issues, I would not have learned this lesson. I do not feel limited, I do not feel less. Instead I feel great ownership of my power as I am learning to choose intentionally and to practice where to focus my energy, how much energy to focus, why, when and how to focus my energy, my resources and my attention.

I have often been told “you can have it all. Have children, study, travel and work a full time job.”

I can still have it all but I am honest with myself. Whatever wherever and whyever I will choose to focus my energy on, it will be an ongoing dance of negotiation, a mix of guilt and innocence, a sense of I did my best and I missed on parts.

I am one of the exceptions of the millions women spread across the globe, I believe in a different story, a story where I will choose where to focus my energy instead of wanting and dreaming to “be and do it all”.

We are millions surfing the wave to reclaiming our worth and through this process, we have joined the stride of doing to prove worth of belongingness. This was a needed walk at one point. Women of my generations, my mother’s and my grandmothers’ generations have been birthed by neurotic burn out mothers who did their best, who did it all on their own and we have inherited the patterns of “never enough”.

I have witnessed tired mothers, aunties and grandmothers. Their nervous system overflowing tiredness and rest never came and for many of us, rest may never come.

The individual and collective tiredness experiencing by women across generations is carrier of a message of imbalance. This tiredness is purposefully driven by a higher conscience and it’s a call to begin to choose and from a space of choice to act with foresight on resources, to begin with oneself.

May women stop telling themselves that they can be all at the same time. We are digging the drench to burn out.

May we stop telling women that they can be all at the same time.

May we begin the truth path, where we put women and men facing life as it is,

For every choices, the negotiating dance with the mix of comfort and discomfort.

Sisters, you can be it all.

What is the “all” that you want to be?

What is driving your choices?

What are your intentions?

What do you believe in?

What do you want to choose?

What you choose is what you leave behind for your daughters.

Within the field of knowing, we leave messages for our daughters.

What messages do you want to leave for your daughter?

How do you want your daughters to remember you?

Love from my heart to yours

Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2021

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2021. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

What experiences are you calling into existence?

How you do perceive life?

From your perceptual filters, what are your daily experiences?

Do you experience life as a weight to carry forth or some mystery unfolding to support you?

How do you view people around you?

What do you belief about your parents, your lover, children and fellow humans?

What do you belief about life?

Do you look for the next hurdles or do you seek the openings for growth?

Where does your attention go easily?

Experiences are intersections of our thoughts, our emotions and the scanning result of our reptilian brain or brain stem. Experiences are much more complex that what I just penned. Experiences reinforce what we believe in this now. Yet what we believe in, is not pure at its finest, we are contaminated by distorted memories, cognitive distortions and so much.

For many of us, we have been reinforcing our beliefs of fear, danger and unsafe for years and more intensely these past months.

What experiences have you been reinforcing?

What beliefs have you been reinforcing about life , about people, about work, about the world, about politics?

Our experiences are chemical (emotional), physiological (connected to our brainstem) , physical, mental ( connected to our thinking, our frontal lobes), energetic, and biological in nature. Yet we have little awareness of this.

I have struggled with anxiety a huge part of my life. I am still learning to navigate through. I am gently emerging through another series of high shot angst. It’s a path that I embrace with deep vulnerability and humility.

I believe and I know that I am not the only whose body scans for danger. This scanning is beyond my mental and emotive control. My nervous system has been in diligent service of my life, ensuring that I would be protected against all possible, potential and real external dangers, from the high pitch tone of someone, from the unsafety cues of someone’s face, from the monotone of someone, to not hearing from people I love and care most and so much more.

I have been in search for safety cues for as early as I remember.  Our humans’ drive to survive and our longing to connect are ongoingly in a dance to include all of us, the safety and the unsafety.

Are you aware that you have been equally in search for safety cues for all of your life?

Neuroception, (term coined by Stephen Porges, father of the Polyvagal Theory) information collected by our nervous system inside us, outside us and between our nervous system and those of others, will determine whether we open up to connect or we drive to survive.

 While we may have little control over our reptilian brain or brain stem, nature has beautifully equipped us with powers to discern, to question and to self-regulate.

 When anxiety shows up, my sense of fear, of something “about to go wrong”, I pause and ask myself

Is this danger real?

Is my life in danger?

Am I 100% safe right here right now?

As I walk myself through these questions, whether the danger is real or not, I have been slowly moving into self-regulating.

My invitation to you if you have reached so far, may you ask yourself these questions and act accordingly.

Is this danger real?

Is my life in danger?

Am I 100% safe right here right now?

To own our power, our emotions, our inner sense of safety, it begins by spending time with people, in situation, in instances that support us in experiencing safety, in building our resilience and in strengthening our sense of connection. Safety is embodied. It is not in the mind but in the body. Unless until, we we find safety within, Earth will never be safe.

My deepest wishes for each one of us as we transit from uncertainly to uncertainty is

May we be safe to connect

May we be safe to feel unsafe

May we be safe to close off

May we be safe to open up

May we be safe to experience what is

May we be tender and willing to reach out and surrender to a greater love and greater conscience.

Love from my heart to yours

Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2021

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2021. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

|The “SHOULDs”|

|These words are an invitation. They take one aspect of this huge conversation. Have this awareness as you read. |

In every coaching conversation I facilitate, I hear women heaving “I should do this. I should do that. I should not this.. I should not that…..”

Are you aware of your “SHOULDs”?

How many times in a day do you use the word “SHOULD”?

I should do better than this.

I should stick to yoga

I should meditate

I should dress this way

I should join that group

I should practice gratitude

I should wake up early

I should eat this

Do you relate to the above?

|BRINGING TO LIGHT “WHAT IS”|

Anything that comes with a “SHOULD” is most likely an expectation given to us from others. Most “SHOULDs” come from outside of us.

The thing to become aware of is:

“SHOULDs” are the messages that the external world, consider to be rightful or best or most valuable or most needed, they are norms. We have been taught and told to adjust to these “SHOULDs” (these norms) because will have positive effects for us and unto us. These norms ensure that we belong. These norms are rules, often unspoken or spoken in a disguised way or spoken openly.

Reality hits hard when we try to work and walk our life around the “SHOULDs” and somehow we keep receiving feedback that “this is not working. We are unable to keep up with the “SHOULD”.”

“SHOULDs” often come through as messages for our highest good with intentions to improve our lives, make us better human beings, support us in achieving our goals, guide us to lead happier lives and so forth.

However, if looked at closely, most “SHOULDs” are not geared to make us better, they come because of the needs of others. They come from cultural sources, family constructs, trends, fashion, spiritual washing and much more. All of this tend to create and project an image of an ideal body, an ideal life, an ideal being, an ideal society , an ideal world and so much more.

Most “SHOULDs” are our attempts to engage into movements that are not ours, to engage into actions, to commit our energy into something that is not ours, that do not BELONG TO US.

Through our “SHOULDs” we live a life led by others, much to our unawareness.

I should not have negative thoughts

I should be happy

I should not eat fast foods

I should exercise

I should have the courage to leave

I should not answer back

For each of these above phrases, ask yourself this one question

“Who said so?”

This may be confusing. So it is. Who said that you should or you should not?

If your answer is yourself, then on what are you grounding this “should” and “should not”.

Are you aware of the driving intentions behind your “should” and “should not”?

What is the rule? What will happen if you do not engage  in these “SHOULDs”?

|WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE|

We can surrender our power to others, accept the “SHOULDs” , without questioning, thus bypassing our discernment, insights, abilities, intuition and set goals which do not match our needs and set sail to meet “feedback of not-happening, inconsistency, uneasiness” on the way.

OR

We can own our power, see the “SHOULDs” on offer for what they truly are, then we can evaluate them based on their honest value and our personal values.

 “SHOULDs” aren’t intrinsically bad but in most instances, they are not a match for us, our call, our path and our journey. We can choose how to engage with them and if we engage with them we can adapt, or we can choose to do none and instead craft our own solutions based on our needs, our desires, our dreams, and what is right for us in this moment.

As we begin this courageous path of walking towards choosing, led by a higher love, a higher conscience, may we be reminded that we belong, we have belonged and we will always belong beyond the written norms and rules of our humanness.

Love from my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2021

Image source: Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2021. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

Laying to rest “that which” has served

In the world of self-development and/or spirituality, we speak of teachers, facilitators, tools, modalities, methodologies, technologies, networks and people (the list is extensive) that are potent in facilitating journeys for individuals and collectives.

The teachers, the facilitators, the tools, the modalities, the methodologies, technologies, networks and people are diverse, colorful and countless.

What we often miss out is that there comes a point where the teachers, the facilitators, the tools, the modalities, the methodologies, technologies, networks and people that have supported us during a specific phase of our life, are to be laid to rest if growth is what we seek.

“That Which” has served, “That Which” has brought support, “That Which” has lighted and enlightened our sense of self-awareness are called to be put to rest one point. This call for “putting to rest” often kicks hard especially when we resist to move with the movements of life.

We are many who have amassed tools, books, teachers, rituals, techniques, methodologies, networks, , people and modalities as an act of support (whether it was intentional or whether it was yet another act of bypassing). 2020 has brought its share of coping for many.

Unless, we free up space, newness will be unable step in. Unless, we choose to intentionally move with the movements of life, we will stagger behind our goals, our purpose, our mission and our vision.

As we near the end of this year, I invite you to pause, review and reflect through an exercise.

You may run it solo or gather with family, your children, your colleagues, your community and/or your close and far ones.

Exercise: Laying to rest “that which” has served

Step 1:  What teachers, facilitators, tools, modalities, methodologies, technologies, networks  and people have supported me through 2020?

 Take your time and reflect on how specifically have the teachers, facilitators, tools, modalities, methodologies, technologies, networks and people support you this year?

We are looking for evidence for how supporting and helpful the items on your list have been.

Remember, unless you have evidence whether it is quality-based and/or quantity-based, chances that you keep amassing and holding up space for newness are high.

Step 2: Once you have walked through Step 1, I invite you to pause and offer your gratitude in a way that resonates with you.

You may choose to hold each physical item close to your heart and say “thank you” and for non-physical item, you may either write it out on a piece of paper or visualize it and bring it close to your heart and offer your gratitude.

Do not shift to the Step 3 until you feel in state of gratitude (however, whatever and whyever you do and be gratitude).

Step 3: What teachers, facilitators, tools, modalities, methodologies, technologies, networks  and people have served it’s purpose in my life and I am ready and willing to “set free”?

I invite you to either write it on a piece of paper and use colors, shapes, papers, collages and pick up items from nature that represent each of “That Which” you are ready and willing to “set free”.

Give yourself permission and space to express in ways that you normally hold yourself from.

You may choose to dance, move and even sing as an act of “setting free” “that which” has served it’s purpose for this phase in your life.

 Note: This Step may ripple resistance, for somehow, we get used to teachers, facilitators, tools, modalities, methodologies, technologies, networks and people and

Step 4: What are you called to invite as support for the next phase of your life?

I invite you to either write it on a piece of paper and use colors, shapes, papers, collages and pick up items from nature that represent each of “That Which” you are ready and willing to invite in your life.

Give yourself permission and space to express in ways that you normally hold yourself from.

You may choose to dance, move and even sing as an act of inviting “that which” for the next phase of your life.

Step 5: Acknowledging and Honoring

Once you have reached this step, pause and take stock of everything that has showed up for you.

“That Which” shows up is to be acknowledged and honored.

Find a way that aligns with your beliefs and your values to acknowledge and honor “that which” is on the way to be “set-free” and “that which” is being invited in your life.

You may consider placing the expressions and/or symbolisms that emerge from Step 3 and Step 4 on your altar, or in nature under a tree or you may tie them all in a flag and hang them.

Items from Step 3 and Step 4 are to be held separately , acknowledged and honored separately while in the same space.

Keep the items as long as you feel called and when you are ready and willing , I invite you to release them both. You may consider burning the items or planting them as seeds of gratitude and intentions or releasing them in a water flow – river or sea or whatever you feel called to.

I gently suggest that you walk yourself through this exercise before the end of this year.

What have I put to rest?

Part of my bedroom wall has been hosting and holding sketches, symbolism, words, paintings, collages, geometry, that I have intentionally placed since October 2019 as an of support and remembrance. A needed support as I transited through unmet trauma, ancestral healing, an opening heart to love, an aching physical body and a longing to go “home”.

On Friday 18th December 2020, I pulled each item, offering my gratitude and laying to rest each item through a fire ritual on Saturday 19th 2020.

I intentionally invited newnesss in my life. For I can only give if I allow myself to receive.

My deepest wishes, prayers, hope, love, gratitude, kindness and compassion go to you.

May this coming bring down the veils between you and your abundance

May you move closer to yourself

You are remembered

You are held

Love from my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2020

Image source: Megha Venketasamy

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

| Your 2020's Movements |

My invitation to and for you today is to step back and rest your spine
Whatever, However, Whyever, Wherever, Whoever, Whenever rest mean to, for, through and within you

From within the nest of your rest, I invite you to ask
“What movements have I experienced this year?”

The intention of the structure of this question is to move us out of the narratives and for once, to begin looking at life through the lenses of movement, for life in it’s essence is a movement inside and outside.

Instead of asking, what worked and what did not work?; what went wrong and what went right? What I lost and what I gained?”, we are focusing on where life has organically been opening, closing, expanding and contracting for us.

| What do I mean by movement? | How am I using the word movement? |

I am using movement to describe where I have intentionally invested energy.

I am using movement to describe where my focus has been.

I am using movement to describe what I have been moving towards from and what I have moving away from.

I am using movement to describe conscious and unconscious actions that I have engaged in.

I am using movement to describe who I have been becoming this year, the traits, the skills that emerged and or strengthened and what parts of me I have working to hide and shy away.

I am using movement to describe the longing that I emerged whether I held them and those that I have parked aside.

I am using movement to describe what I have opened up in terms of relationships, projects, trauma, wounds, modalities and so much more and the doors that I have closed, in terms of relationships, projects, modalities and so much more.

I can  imagine the intensity, the ease as well as the dis-ease of that may be running through and within you now that you have reached this far.

My invitation to and for you is to pause, breathe and choose to become present to your 2020’s movements.

My invitation to and for you is instead of naming, calling, tagging and labelling your year as bad, challenging, wrong, lost, worst, best, ask “ What movements have I experienced this year?”

Use my list of movement’s descriptions as a guide and create your own.

|Where to begin? |

A starting point to check the movements,

What I have been moving towards from? (This question carries another question “What do I want?” The more you move towards your want, the more your energy is focused into your what.)

What have I been moving away from? (This question carries another question “What is it that I don’t want?” The more you focus on moving away towards that which you do not want, the more your energy is invested in fire-fighting possible issues, mishaps, problems and challenges.)

What have I pushed myself to engage with? (I am using “push” in sense of “coaxing self , getting self to engaged in things by self-talking into “I should , I ought to, I have to, I need to” , even though there is an inherent aversion and disconnect )

What have I felt pulled towards? (I am using “pull” in the sense of “I feel called to engage into something while I do have a certain level of fear connected to the unknown)

If you feel called to, walk yourself through these questions and you may consider looking into the different aspects of your life: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, energetic and much more.

You may choose to skip all of the above and instead sit with this one question,

 “What movements have I experienced this year?”

This question is potent for opening as well for closing.

However, wherever, whyever, whoever, whenever, whatever you are, know that you are being held through and within the seen and unseen.

2020 has brought down the veils, so now we see movements happening and we are many to gradually understand within our body that we were never and are never and shall never be apart from the external movements.

What moves outside, moves inside.

What moves inside, moves outside.

Take good care of yourself.

Rest | Pause | Breathe | Dream | Long | Seek | Hold | Be Held | Embrace | Be Embraced | Love | Be Loved | Kiss | Be Kissed

May you catch yourself gently in, through and within kindness.

Love from my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2020

Image source: Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

| An Invitation |

Every moment comes with an invitation of “that which” has not been acknowledged yet, the trauma, the pain, the wounds, the entanglements, the gift, the love and so much more.

Image Source: Christine Chompton | Rue Virgil Naz, Port Louis, Mauritius |

When the body becomes heavy glued in a movement of agony, sadness, despair, confusion, then is the right time to pause and ask

“What has presented in front of me right here right now? What is inviting my attention to right here right now?

 When the body moves in lightness flowing through light, then is the time to pause and ask

“What has presented in front of me right here right now? What is inviting my attention to right here right now?

 When the body roots in silence oozing openness, then is the time to pause and ask

“What has presented in front of me right here right now? What is inviting my attention to right here right now?

 Every moment comes with an invitation to initiate into embracing.

“That which” is yet to be honored and bestowed with due devotion will keep showing up over and over again through repeated situations, déjà-vus, patterns, dis-sease in the mental, emotional, intellectual, the spiritual and the energetic bodies.

What seems to be the recurring patterns in your life?

What evidence do you have that these are patterns?

|Repeated Situations | Sameness in Relationship| Entanglements |

The invitation is not that of rewriting a new empowering pattern but rather to see “that which” dwells beyond the pattern ripe, juicy and willing to be harvested. From that meeting, an initiation into being with the dis-ease and the ease happens.

The bountiful nature of this life is such that invitations are organically and somatically held, sent and gifted in every moment.

An invitation to face “that which” has been on the wait for eons. What we call as repeated patterns, behaviors, mood swings, anxiety attacks, panics attacks, trauma, wounds and much more.

An invitation to include.

Inclusiveness is the nature of life.

Until the invitation is accepted, held and a choice to include the experience of the ease and dis-ease, that which we term as patterns will stay on replay mode.

My invitation to and for you, pause| breathe |scan | ask

“What is on replay mode? What keeps showing up and I am yet to choose to face it?”

 What invitations are waiting for you on your doorsteps?

What support do you need to gather to embrace one invitation at a time?

What resources within will support you as you gather your invitations?

 |Wherever| Whoever |However | Whyever |Whatever | Whenever | WE BE and WE ARE, may we be reminded of the generosity of life flowing and flooding towards us. The abundance of invitations to embrace that which has been waiting on our door steps for eons.

Love from my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Image source: Christine Chompton

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

|To Be Successful|

What is success for you?

How do you define success?

Why is success important for you?

When you succeed at “what is”, then what value will it add to your life?

When you succeed at “what is”, then what will it say about you?

Whatever success mean to each of us; however we use the word “success”; whatever be our references for success; however we define success; whatever our beliefs about success; however we relate to the word “success”, whether we want to have a successful relationship; whether we want to be known as an author, an activist, an influencer, an entrepreneur, a community leader, a change-driver; whether we stay committed on our self-development path or spiritual path (whatever be it), there are two keys to look at:

1. Visibility

2. Failure

 1. Visibility

To be successful, there has to be a willingness to become visible. With visibility comes vulnerability. Visibility asks of us to show up vulnerably in front of ourselves and those who will be touched directly through our presence and/or services.

To be visible means to be seen, to be heard, to be held, to be witnessed and to be acknowledged. To be visible means that one no more hides behind an imagery but instead one shows up as one is right here right now.

With vulnerability come the risks of our inner shame being exposed. In most instances, it is less about the things that we are ashamed of but rather the shame that we hold within.

We are few to want others to see that we hold shame, for we fear that once our shame is revealed, we will hear “yes, indeed, you better be ashamed of this and that. I hear you , I would be equally ashamed had I been in your place.”

To be successful, it asks of us to ease investing our vital energy in hiding the shame, be it the shame of our childhood; a relationship; trauma; failures; financial status; relationship status and much more.

The more our vital energy is invested towards that which we seek instead of that which we are ashamed of, the more we are able to engage in acts of the heart on a day to day basis. Most of us juggle in terms of how much energy we invest in hiding our shame.

Vulnerability asks of courage, courage is an internal movement unseen by the external world yet deeply felt, experienced and witnessed by the creator, the one who chooses to become visible to the external world, whether through writing blogs, posting videos, launching a business, asking that person for a date and much more.

On a scale of 0-10, how much energy do you invest in hiding that which are you are ashamed of?

With shame comes this trail of thinking and beliefs, that I am not good-enough to be belong and to be loved.

Where do we go from here?

We begin by looking at our relationship with failure

2. Failure

There is no success without failure. Failure whatever, however, whyever we may define and use the “word”, it has much to be with our relationship with “not-knowing/ being wrong”.

What is your relationship with “not-knowing/being wrong”?

On a scale of 0-10, how comfortable are you to tell a client or a child or your partner, that “I do not know or I am sorry that I appeared pushy or I acknowledge that I acted from my limited perceptions. As a student of my teacher, I am sharing this knowledge with you. I do not own legitimacy to this methodology, I have created none of these (the list is endless). ”

Where are you right here right now?

What are you present to?

What are the thoughts?

What has opened up for you?

The two keys: Visibility and Failure remind us of our power within, it reminds us of our power to think, to feel, to speak, to create, to relate and to act.

If we seek success as a way to prove that we have control over life, then Visibility and Failure teach us that the only area of life that we can have control over is our self.

We cannot control who will like or hate us; we cannot control the economy; we cannot control the environment; we cannot control legal and social changes all of us impact our way to success in one way or another.

Visibility and Failure teach us that success and failures are mirages on the journey to co-creating, to learning, to growing, to grooming, to blossoming, to dying and to re-birthing again, one cannot exist without the other.

Visibility and Failure remind us that while there are countless useful tried-tested tools, methodologies, strategies and services that support the “DOING” aspect of success, the “BEING” aspect is of utmost importance.

To “BE” asks that we allow shame to be embodied instead of recounting the story of “who did what, where, when, why, how and with whom”. Unless we allow shame to be fully experienced, we stay engaged in runner-chaser race, shame chasing us and growing in strength with each breath.

If success of “what is” is what you seek, then bring “that which” strengthens you and shed light on “that which” drains you. Use your strength to courageously face your shame and from that space, move to “that which” you feel (not the story but the feeling) and allow the feeling to be fully experienced.

Remember, we offer to others “that which” we offer to ourselves.

If we long authentic connections, then we begin by authentically relating with ourselves in kindness, giving ourselves space to not-know, to be wrong, to have ongoingly expanding space to learn, unlearn and relearn.

Love from my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2020

Image source: Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

“Acceptance implies Responsibility.” – Michael Hall

What is acceptance?

How does one know that one has started the process of acceptance?

Acceptance is a process of allowing “whatever it is that has happened” to be seen, heard, felt and witnessed without judging and without prophesying the yet-to-unfold future.

Acceptance literally means “this is what has happened” and as result of “that which has happened”, I am having an experience of “what is”. Acceptance in it’s essence is inclusive, it includes every experience as it is right here right now.

Acceptance is a dynamic process that we are to tend to over and over again.

Once, we utter the word “acceptance”, we are unconsciously ushering ourselves into a space of embodied power, moving from feeling, being, hearing and witnessing life as a victim to a creator. Acceptance holds space for the victim, the perpetrator, the savior, the wounded, the creator and stillness within.

 Acceptance is Power Embodied. Acceptance does not ease the discomfort nor does it mitigate the impact of the consequences of “that which has happened” but instead, the process of acceptance supports us through our future steps to creative solutions.

 Acceptance does not mean we are negating the impacts of “what is”. Acceptance does not mean that we are choosing a bypassing strategy nor does it mean that we are condoning “what is”. Most importantly acceptance does not ask of liking and least a resonance with “what is”.

How does Acceptance work exactly?

Acceptance depersonalizes, contextualizes within time and space “that which has happened”.

Within a space of acceptance, one moves from “this has happened to me, it is impacting my everyday life and things will never be the same again” to “this happened on that day, time and in that place involving certain persons”.

For some of us, we will not be able to walk through acceptance, in those instances, therapy could be of one of the answers to support and resilience building. For those of us, who are open to acceptance of “what is”, then the process of acceptance lays the foundation of deeper rooting for inner resilience.

Acceptance moves one to finding the needed solutions right here right now.

One then asks,

What do I have to do?

What actions do I have to engage in?

What agreements will best support me way forward?

What beliefs will best support me during this phase?

What skills do I have to strengthen?

What needs are to be met?

What internal resources do I have that will support me right here right now?

What external resources may I call upon for support?

All these above questions position one in one’s area of POWER, that is, RESPONSE-ABILITY, witnessing self as beholder of power that is called to be creatively tapped.

See link to one of my past blog on “Responsibility is Powerful”, it is always needed to remind self of one’s area of responsibilities.

Acceptance is an active process. Acceptance is a process where each individual finding his/her meaning out of “that which has happened”.

Acceptance is transpired in simple actions such as slowing down; resting; breathing; crying; sleeping and so much more.

 Acceptance is crucial to resilience building. We are in a transitory phase in history of this world; we are many struggling to accept so much of “what is”.

Acceptance means honoring “what is”.

Whenever you honor “what is”, you give your attention to, even if it means “I see you, I hear, I feel but for now, I am choosing to park until I find suffice within me to face you.”

Whatever you honor, honors you in return.

What if, one is unable to move and to be moved to and through acceptance?

There is no wrongness in being unable to move and to be moved through acceptance. We are all experiencing life at varying levels. We all have unmet trauma. May we be reminded that this is a personal path which ultimately transcends and moves into the trans-personal realm of “what is”. It is up to each individual to find his/her way to navigating through life.

 Where are you right here right now?

Are you kicking your way to accept the end of a relationship; the departure of a close one who has left this world; the exit from a career that has held your sense of identity; the oozing wounds from your childhood; the meeting of yourself through?

Wherever you are, however you are, however you are, whoever you are

May you be reminded

May we be reminded

That the simple act of accepting that “I cannot and I choose not to accept “what is”” is enough.

I accept that I cannot accept “what is”.

May we be kind to ourselves, to our hearts and to our minds.

The path is long

It is easy to get swayed and engulfed in the drama of life

May we gently catch ourselves at the door steps of our drama

May we learn to become active witness

Love from my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2020

Image source: Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

“Are we talking about their need for help or your need to be a helper?” ~ Bert Hellinger

One of the agreements that I bring forth when I host circles is “this is a safe space to receive and to be received by self and this circle, may you catch yourself gently and fiercely whenever, however, whyever you find yourself diving into helping the other without the other having asked for help.”

Image Source: Nathan Dumlao @Unsplash

The intent of this agreement is grounded in one of the values that each and every individual has an abundance of resources and as we gather to focus on “what is” including the comfort, the discomfort and the in-between of it all, we hold space for each and every individual to find within whatever it is that they need most.

Many may share how sitting next to someone and not reaching out is an act of utter lack of compassion. Many may say that “I feel called to support, I hear whispers and isn’t it disrespectful not to listen to my inner guidance?” Many may heave at the constant cycle of going home drained with stories that belong to others.

I often get asked and I have often asked my teachers, colleagues, fellow-facilitators, friends, sisters:

“What are boundaries pre, during and post each session/meeting/gathering?

What do you do to not get dragged into people’s stories?

How do you energize after each session/meeting/gathering?

What do you do to not absorb people’s energies?

What are your strategies that support you in drawing a line between you and the other?

How do you sleep without carrying to bed the unsolved issues of people you meet every day? ”

 If you have not asked yourself these questions, pause and walk yourself through each one of these and note down the answers. And if these questions are familiar to you, I invite you to pause and take each question with a sight of freshness and note down the answers.

|ASSUMING THAT YOU HAVE WALKED YOURSELF THROUGH THE ABOVE QUESTIONS|

Ask yourself this last question,

“Are we talking about their need for help or your need to be a helper?” ~ Bert Hellinger

 |PAUSE| BREATHE|

I invite you to become present to your physical body, check what sensations are present, where these sensations are present now that you have asked yourself this last question, “are these people’s needs for help or my need to be a helper?”

 What are you present to in this now?

How is your breathing?

What are your body sensations?

What feelings are you feeling?

What intention do we set with this new awareness?

|PAUSE| BREATHE| LISTEN | HEAR

There is no one way and there is no one perfected method and/or path that supports us draw a line between ourselves and others.

We attract people, we end up in situations and we craft events that catalyze in opening us to our unmet parts (trauma, gifts, drama, wounds, pains and much more).

It is human and divine to seek out and to help the other, even when help has not been requested and least asked.

It is human and divine to believe that we know what is best for the other and how to best support the other.

Every encounter as much as it is individual and personal, it is equally transpersonal. Every internal movement is transpersonal, so is every external step.

Every act of being and doing is personal and transpersonal.

The individual is always in relating with self and the collective past, present and future.

We are bound to attract that which we need most to grow, to unlearn from and of, to untangle of, to shed, to walk through, to strength on and much more.

As humans, we are called to navigate life in companionship with self and others. Our presence influences our lives and the greater collective is undeniable. Each and every one of us is special and unique, yet we are not that important, not so important to the  to the extent of believing that we are responsible for others’ transformation.

We evolve and we grow and so do people around us.

As a facilitator, one of my lesson walking through these intense past months, is that regardless of how much I believe to know what is right for the clients and my close ones, ultimately the individual finds his/her way to his/her resolution. The tools the I use, the words that I utter, the rituals that I engage in, none of these surpass the client’s self-engagement and this stands true in all instances.

 The question from this amazing teacher, Bert Hellinger has ushered me onto new lands and as I perceive life through new lenses, I pause to in reverence to my own need to be a helper, for such is the truth for most of us actively involved in supporting our fellows. The helper within is held strong and kindly and as I hold myself, I remind myself of these

“In all instances, the greatest act of help comes from holding space for self and the other, with the knowingness that when all is held space to belong, then balance and order flows naturally.”

I invite us to pause, to take note, to breathe and to move gently. Operating with new a structure, asks of deep compassion and kindness towards self.

May we be kind as we walk through the days , weeks and months.

Whenever the urge to help the other kicks in, may we be reminded to ask ourselves “are these people’s needs for help or my need to be a helper?”

 Love from my heart to yours

Image source: @Nathan Dumlao @Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

"You don't truly love someone until you love their fate, too." - Bert Hellinger

We love and often we wish those we love were otherwise; different;  not addicted; not traumatized; communicate otherwise; acknowledge they are wrong ( from our perspective);  believe they are worthy ; choose to free themselves; be more spiritual; agree with us; heal ; find solutions to their anxiety; scream less; be less; do less; do more; be more etc... These wishes happen at the subtlest unconscious levels.

Image @Marcello Matarazzo @Unsplash

Often we believe and think we know better what is best and most needed for those we love.

But we don't know better for other people.

We may believe that happiness is the next step but it is insignificant compared to what another person needs at this time, for what the other needs at this time is in the larger context of life, beyond our personal experience of life.

  We don't know what's best for another person because we only know our experience.

"If we think we can change a person's fate, there's a part of them we are not accepting. On some level, we are saying "I know better than you."

It's attractively tempting and luring to wish the other will change for us to fully accept them as they are. It is self-deceiving to say “I love you but I want you to do this and that for yourself”, because at our core, we are often asking of the other to fix what we see, hear and feel as wrong in them and/or their life.

We don't have solutions for the other because we don't know what it is truly to live the other's unique fate.

A fate that includes traumas, gender, race, culture, who their parents were, family, sibling and much more. What makes up a person's unique fate is infinitely different from ours.

As we start engaging in accepting the other as they show up, the higher and better are their chances to find their solutions.

Whenever we say "I see you, I hear you ", it literally means that "I am not attempting to understand you from my limited restricted internal system of this world, rather I am telling you that I accept you as you are and as you show up."

When people are accepted as they are, grounded in their dignity and strength, they are able to propel themselves towards what they need.

It has been my experience so far that what other people need is always deeper and more complex than what we want for them.

As I pause to nurture myself with these words that poured through me earlier this morning,

“This a journey, an ongoing process, that of learning love. We can only offer to this world that which we offer to ourselves. Accepting the other as he/she shows up moves in alignment with our self-acceptance.

Unlike what we may learn from books and teachers, “accepting self and the other” is not a goal to be reached in future but rather an invitation to experience self and life as it is, without seeking to correct and fix.

There are deeper complexes at play; the lesson is that of stepping out of the drama and be willing to open up to beyond the mind’s needs for logic.

This is beyond our self-development goals.

Acceptance is in the order of life as life shows, there is no rightness or wrongness.

May we be moved to whatever, however, whyever, whenever, wherever acceptance shows up to,through, with and within us.”

Love from my heart to yours

Image source: @Marcello Matarazzo @Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

|On Validation|

To be validated means to be told that “one is worthy of existing, of belonging, of being, of doing and of love”.

Validation comes from an Authority Source, which means that there is something or someone or system beyond us more powerful, more knowledgeable, wiser, better, grander, bigger. And we rest on that something or someone to tell us “that we are doing great; are being great; we are beautiful; we are worthy; we are enough….. (endless list).

That Authority Source can be Internal, that is, our own and /or  External , that is, someone or some system outside of us.

 |PAUSE| REFLECT| CHECK

Who are your sources of validation?

To whom do you turn to know that you are worthy, you are beauty, you are enough ?  (your mother? Your father? Your partner? Your friends? Your likes on social media? …..)

|WHAT DO WE NEED TO LEARN, UNDERSTAND AND KNOW ABOUT VALIDATION?|

There is no wrongness in seeking validation.

There is no wrongness in having an external Authority Source, someone or something that will validate us, our existence, our worth and much more. In specific instances, we need external validation to further ahead connected to several contexts such as work or task or projects or learning. For example feedback on presentation; debrief on a coaching session; update on projects etc..

The external Authority Source validates a task or an act of doing but not the person.

When we get a “well done for a task/job/project”, as much as it validates our energy, passion, commitment and dedication, in no way possible, does it validate our worth as humans. This is where most of us humans are stuck.

An external Authority Source gives a huge thumb up for a task.

A task is being validated and not the human.

Most of us, we swirl in painful cycles ongoingly seeking validation for ourselves, our lives, our choices and our being from external Authority Sources.

Simply said, we keep reaching outside, to people, systems or something that we view as Authority Sources, “for validation of our beauty, of our life, of our choices,  of our worthy to belong and to be loved.”

|WOMEN AND VALIDATION|

There is no wrongness in seeking validation from an external Authority Source.

Sisters, generations of domestications, trauma, wounds, pains run in our body, bones and blood, most of us,  women, we do not believe, we do not see, we do not feel and we do not witness ourselves as worthy, as enough, as worthy of belonging and love unless someone or something outside comes and validates this for us.

Women need to hear that we all start on the same pedestal, regardless of how much nurture, care and love we receive from our primary care givers, the external world does not spare, the impositions on beauty, on worthy lives, on status, on finance, on career, on relationships, on education (and more) are huge and real.

While it may be easy to dismiss self for seeking external validation, this dismissing does not erase the one inside who seeks validation.

|WHAT WOMEN NEED TO HEAR ABOUT VALIDATION?|

Every child who touches the realm of earth, comes with one of the basic needs that has to be met.

The need to be “acknowledged, held and celebrated”.

To be acknowledged is “I see you, I hear you, I feel you and you exist and you are enough. There is nothing you have to do and be otherwise to be worthy of love and belonging.”.

|PAUSE| REFLECT| CHECK

Did you hear these words “I see you, I hear you and you exist and you are enough. There is nothing you have to do and be otherwise to be worthy of love and belonging” as a child?

Were you acknowledged fully?

Were you held as “you are” instead of asking of you to be something else?

 Pause and say these words to yourself,

“I see you, I hear you and you exist and you are enough. There is nothing you have to do and be otherwise to be worthy of love and belonging”

What is triggered inside you?

 |HOW DOES A WOMAN MOVE AHEAD?|

When one has not been met in one’s full glory, one will seek that meeting over and over again, through external Sources.

One will seek to be validated through an external Authority ( through words, through giving, through social media, through doing, through carrying person and much) but one will also hide out of the fear of not-being enough of love and belonging.

As a facilitator, I believe the need “to be acknowledged” has to be met in fully glory through the pain and confusions that arise from this process.

If right now, all you can do is to keep seeking that validation for your worth from external Authority Sources, something or someone who will tell you that you are “worthy of love and belonging”, then keep doing it but do it intentionally, do it knowing that behind that act of doing you are meeting your need to be acknowledged.

With each validation you receive, pause and check whether you can start validating your own self; whether you can begin to face the mirror and whisper and roar these words to be yourself:

“I see you, I hear you and you exist and you are enough. There is nothing you have to do and be otherwise to be worthy of love and belonging”

This a long journey that often calls for support, guidance and help, reach out to women who can support you as you walk home to yourself.

To be validated means to stand rooted and unshaken in the knowingness that one is worthy right here right now.

To be validated means to be acknowledged, to be heard,to be seen and to be held.

 Let there be NO SHAME | NO GUILT | NO JUDGEMENT

As you walk to seek validation outside and learn to gently turn inwards

The promise of such path is, you will be led inside to your Internal Authority, to Your OwnSelf

Love from my heart to yours

Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2020

Image source: Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

0 Likes

Belonging - A journey that begins Alone

When we step up for that which pounds in our heart, we begin a stand-alone journey and chances that we lose those who were once our allies are real, true and hard.

The day we make that conscious and intentional choice to ripple out our voice, we are bound to be left unarmored by those whom we consider our defense.

Standing for what we value at any given point in time, be an opinion, a change in career, the decision to leave or start a relationship, engaging deeper in what we perceive and believe as our spirituality, ownership of our cycles, opening our hearts to life, and more, all of these choices and decisions, will usher us ahead and often alone.

This is a solo stand. There are little promises that we will be braced by those we consider our own.

For women and men, who are untangling themselves from their domestication, this can be heart breaking to wake up and be shaken with this sense that “I no more belong to those I called my own”.

|If you have ever been there | If you are there |

|If you are shying away from that spot | If you are hurting|

Know you are heard | held | acknowledged | seen

Standing up for what we believe in is bound to usher us ahead on fresh grounds and often, we may experience aloneness for some time if not a long time.

What we need to remember through this act is that we have engaged ourselves in what is termed as an “act of heart”.

Every act of heart is a choice to choose to belong to what one believes is true and real for self.

Every act of heart ushers one out there, we call this stepping into the wild.

“Braving the Wilderness”, as termed by Brené Brown

Facing that crossroad , when we are  about to stand up for something unsame as those whom hold close to our hearts, this can literally shuts us off and numbs our intention from engaging further. It is easy to retaliate and back track hurling in pain for not having been supported.

But there is no turning away, standing for what pounds in our heart will ask of us to find enough within ourselves that reminds us that we already belong to ourselves and this is the beginning of belonging beyond ourselves.

We will find belongingness on the way, within ourselves and everywhere.

As contradictory as it may sound.

We belong outside only to the extent to which we belong to and with ourselves.

Once we start on the path of standing up for what pounds in our heart, we start belonging to what we are within.

This is true belonging.

We cannot belong to others, times, places, unless until we belong ourselves.

“Belonging demands that we be who we are.” – Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness

“These past years, there have been countless moments of alones, each time I have choosen to speak and stand up for what I have believed in. I have lost countless whom I considered my own, for my choice to embrace that which pounded and pounds in my heart.

There is this key point prior to a sharing, a voicing out, a showing up, a point where I can still choose to retaliate for within I know the price to pay for showing that which pounds inside my heart, is that I will stand along wildly braving the wild.

There is part of me that had rather choose to hide within the comfort of what fits it all.

These past weeks, I have spoken outwardly, I have spoken many unspokens and through this act of speaking, I have stood and I am still standing vulnerably on my peak with this knowingness that as I choose to move deeper to my truth, I am inwardly choosing more of me, the more I choose more of me, the more I belong to that which I am.”

When we start belonging to ourselves, we will often stand alone. Standing alone inundates us in discomfort, yet this is not a phase to be rushed through.

This discomfort is potent as it teaches us the art of learning to root stronger while opening our heart deeper to self and life.

I believe that when we start standing for what pounds inside us and if we dare stay long enough in that discomfort of “aloneness”, we will learn to honor and include even those who seem apart from us.

I believe through this choice of choosing to heed to that which pounds in our hearts, we end up finding fellows ahead, fellows who have made the choice to belong.

Only until we have learned to belong to what we are within, can we truly belong to others, time, place and space.

“You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great…” – Maya Angelou

Through this act of belonging to ourselves, we grow roots and with each breath, we root deeper to almost become immovable for what our heart pounds for.

Through this act of rooting, we teach others to belong and we weave a web of belonging beyond ourselves. Then we belong nowhere and everywhere. And whenever we stand for what pounds in our hearts, we stand with this knowingness.

Love from my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2020

Image source: Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

We will be met again and again…

Trauma runs across generations in family lines until it hits someone who will choose to heal the patterns of ignorance, agony, misery, sufferings, sickness, disconnections, shame, guilt, fear and much more.

For anyone who chooses this path, the wounds, the pains, the ugly, the beauty, the agreements, the world, the family, the ancestors, the body, the breath, the heart, are met over and over again, for such is a lifelong process.

On this path, transformation oozes from the bones of the one who chooses healing, what was once labelled as “decay” is hurled back to life.

While we may choose to begin on this excruciating path, little is promised to us, least the reward that at the end of path, our biological family and larger kin will await and rejoice in togetherness and we shall feast at the same table.

These words are intensely painful to hear and sit with, for within each human who chooses to clean his/her inner rivers, there dwells this dream, this hope, this wish that one day “we shall feast at the same table”.

The dream of the child within, who believes in

“as I heal, so do my kin and one day, we shall rejoice in togetherness”, for many, this dream will never be met as envisioned.”

 The one who aches and who treads in shadowed bitterness and hopelessness is none other than the child within.

The dream of the inner child be held within sacred bounds and be grieved over and over again, for through this process, we shall allow ourselves to meet the unspoken, the unheard, the aching and seeking parts of our selves.

This meeting is crucial and it is part of our healing.

This meeting will teach us to see, hear, feel and become present to “there is no more to be done; we have done enough; we are enough”; running around, chasing modalities, teachers and facilitators will bring no more shifts.

This meeting will teach us that from the beginning, we have belonged and we belong till the end of time.

We will be taught that there comes a time when a line is to be drawn, while our choice to heal has transformed our life, may we be gently reminded that there is no promise that those who are biologically- related to us and those with who we relate strongly will meet us on the way.

As painful as this may be, in face of the deepest love, may we hear that

“for anyone who chooses healing, this dream will be met over and over across land, borders, frontiers and times”.

We will be met in utter rejoice and we shall feast at the same table.

This is the promise.

To dare to pause and rest at the table and to open to those who meet us at the same table is the beginning of the embracing of the long aching dream of kin to kin, heart to heart, breath to breath and body to body.

However, wherever, whoever you are,

May you begin this path now

May you be reminded that you will be met over and over

May you be brave enough to open your hearts to those who will meet you at the same table

May you meet and be met by your self at the same table

Love from my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2020

Image source: Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

The Nature of our Nature

The cyclic rhythms of our nature provides us with the needed strength , wisdom , support and courage within without to walk, tread and even drag ourselves through the life and death cycle.

Image Source Carl Jung Ho Park @ Unsplash

Cycling means no fixing, no mending, no turning back no matter how impossible it may seem, no matter how unsafe it may feel.

That which shows up is to be met and the unmet will keep showing up again and again until it is met, greeted, and braced.

The journey is the balance of reaching inwards to touch and to be touched, to move and to be moved, to imprint and to be imprinted with the strength, wisdom, courage and life with the intent to move outwards emerging changed and unchanged.

This is the dance of light and dark; of death and life; of giving and receiving; of world and home; of sun and moon, of yin and yang ; of masculine and feminine.

The one thing that we fear and resist most is destruction, yet it is inevitable in life, the destruction of matter is inevitable, for we humans, we are matter manifested in form, we are also beyond matter.

As a woman, as I tune more and more into my cycles, how my biological body is rhythmically in-tuned to the rhythms of nature, that which happens outside, that which seems to be moving, shifting and transforming outside is the same inside.

We tend to hold on to that which has served in our lives, yet trees do not hang to their dry leaves, neither do they zealously keep their ripe fruits, seeds are not held hostage in dry fruits, for such is how nature balances.

In nature balance is ever present, it takes mastery to move into imbalance.

We humans, we have mastered imbalance. I say these words, I hold space for billions women spread across the globe, “Sisters, have not we mastered imbalance?”

Menstrual imbalance | Irregular Menses | Pains | Brain Fogs

Unexplained Physical Dis-Eases

Mental | Emotional Imbalances

Fluctuating Energy

Inability to embrace and welcome our changing bodies

Block or overflow of our emotions

And no matter how hard, we try, none of our plastered solutions last for long enough.

Why so?

How come women move through waves from the moment they wake up till they go to bed?

How come it feels like we have lived an entire year in just a month?

Changing and Unchanging

The seasons are ever present in a woman’s body and the day she remembers to re-member, this day marks the beginning of She meeting, greeting and bracing her Changing and Unchanging.

Are you aware that our bodily rhythms are clocked nature’s rhythms?

Are you aware that the seasonal changes are clocked within our own biological clocks?

Imagine, if you were to start remembering this wisdom that dwells within you, then how different would your life be?

It is easy to get entangled in the cycles of drama, until you become present to the cycles life.

This is where I stand today as a woman, present the cycles of nature, of life and how the cycles are embodied within me.

I drop in, through, with and within the drama, witnessing the cycles, for as all women have who walked, who are walking and who are yet to walk this earth, I am the rhythms embodied.

If my words tickle and ring to you and you seek to understand deeper, I invite you to check my Menarche Journey, a Dive into Menstruation, 8 weeks during which space is held as women walked into remembering their cycles and how nature has been whispering to, through and within them since the beginning.

If as a man, these words tickle to you and you seek to understand the cycles of life, the seasonal movements, know that my heart is open, ready and willing to share the little that I know, that I keep learning and I keep witnessing.

Love from my heart to yours

Image source: Carl Jung Ho Park @ Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

“All fruits do not ripe in one season.” Laurie Junot

Ripeness is a needed quality for the receiver to receive and suckle the blessings bestowed.
Ripeness of the Intellect | Ripeness of the Mind |
Ripeness of the Heart
Ripeness of the Ego | Ripeness of Bodies
Ripeness of Self

Image source: Door Step of Vishalakshi Mantap, Art of Living Ashram, Bangalore, 28 April 2018

The waters of any fruit cannot be suckled unless it has reached it’s ripeness, the same is for us human. We cannot suckle our blessings unless we have reached ripeness; unless through our mere touch we flood the running juiciness of that which was bestowed unto to us; unless we become the blessings that were gifted to us.
 

It takes more than opening up to receive blessings, it asks of us to be and become the blessings and through this act of being and becoming, we ripe through and with the blessings.

At times, it takes an entire life and other times, it takes a few seconds and then for most of us it takes many lives, until we open to move to, through and within our ripeness.

 
The quality of ripeness is mirrored in and through nature.
Life often starts as hard | tough | small |closed | raw
Through the dance and mating of the elements | the unseen |unheard |unfelt
Earth | Water |Fire | Air | Space
Cycles | Rhythms | Balance | Timely
With the cycling
Soften | Sweeten | Flavor | Colors | Smell | Touch |Taste
Ripeness
The ripening of our soul goes through the same process
 

The blessing is both the blessing and the seed.
The blessing comes through ways and waves often in times when the receiver is blind, deaf, tongue-less, handless, legless, heartless, headless, touchless, feelingless  to receive, to suckle, to smell, to hear, to walk, to embrace, to mate, to penetrate and to be penetrated by the blessing.

The blessing activates the ripening process. Often, encounters with individuals, situations, contexts, circumstances, words, works, authors leave us shaken, un-same or even indifferent.

Yet unknown to most of us, a blessing has been bestowed, a seed has been planted and it may take us years and lives to reach ripeness and realize the omnipresent wholeness to suckle on the blessing.

There is no waste in nature, no rotten fruits ever go to waste yet our eyes, ears, hands, feet, mind, hearts, tongues are unable to see, feel, hear and sense beyond this.

No blessing ever go to waste, when one reaches the level of ripeness, one will gather around the ripeness within suckling one’s own ripeness along with the blessing.

For the intent of any blessing is that of ushering us towards our ripeness.

Likewise, all fruits do not ripe at the same time and in the same seasons. Seeds incubate, they root, they gather strength and they grow. So are our lives, so are ourselves.

 
Two years ago, I was at the Art of Living Ashram in Bangalore. I was absorbed, preoccupied, scattered, seeking , searching, longing, paining, screeching to least notice that which was bestowed upon me.
 
Today is my born day. As I pause to gather around my ripeness, I hear, I see, I feel a teacher’s blessing upon me, beyond me and the vastness of who I am and beyond.
Today I suckle on Sri Sri Ravi Shankar’s Blessings.
Today I suckle on my teacher’s blessing, Rekha Kurup.
Today I suckle on the blessings of the ones who adopted me as their own, Naigee
Today I suckle on the blessings of my ancestors
Today I suckle on the blessings of my family, my blood line and those call me their own and I call my own
Today I suckle on every blessing bestowed upon me in this life, before and beyond.
Today I suckle on the blessing that I am.
I am the blessing and I am the seed.

My blessings to each one of us
May we be moved by, through, within , to and with ourselves
May we gather around our ripeness suckling on our blessings

 
My invitation to each one of us, is to open up, to choose growth, to acknowledge it all, to allow self to witness, to receive and to give, to grieve, to love, to cry, to rejoice with no guarantee of that which we long will be bestowed upon us but with the promise that no blessings will be left unmet.

“The path is long. The Goal is in every moment.” Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

My invitation to each one us is to walk, rest, pause, breathe, move, sleep, pray and bless with the knowingness that each fruit will ripen when the season comes.

 
My invitation to each one of us is to stay open with trust with no surety that we will spared from pains and wounds on the path but with the promise that that “which is” will remain the eternal companion.
My invitation calls to life, to love, to seeing, to feeling, to hearing and sensing.

 Love from my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Image source: Door Step of Vishalakshi Mantap, Art of Living Ashram, Bangaore, 28 April 2018

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

Navigating Through Anxiety

Anxiety is a normal and healthy emotion in humans.
Anxiety begins with bodily sensations, and often times, out of our search for answers, if not, someone, somehow, somewhere, will coin the word anxiety for us.
From sensations, we now have an emotion “anxiety”.

Anxiety is neither positive nor negative; it is our body’s natural response to stress. In time of great uncertainties, where we are billions spread across the globe with this sense of that what we knew, what we believed in, what we held as, what we cherished and what we have crafted as life has crumbled down and we have little or no power over this.
When anxiety shows up, fear hovers, for there is little or no control on what is happening and what will happen in future.
 
There is no wrongness with anxiety but if our life is controlled and led through and by anxiety, then we are in an unhealthy cycle and sooner or later, we will burn ourselves out.
 
Anxiety is less in the mind but more in the body. But the mind taps into the body and then from that space starts a series of scenarios. The mind is skilled at creating stories, at projecting, at visioning the future, at analyzing, at linking, at comparing, at referencing, at memorizing and in 99% of the time, these are nothing but movies.

Trauma does not ease this process.  We are endless who scan for danger outside, for we live in danger inside our body. Unsafety is our reality, both inside and outside.

We navigate through anxiety.
 Showing Away |Parking Aside | Pretending

None of these intervention attempts work or least, last over the medium and long term
We do not have to like the discomfort and arousal of anxiety
 
When anxiety shows up, it ushers discomfort and arousal but it also drains.
We all react and act differently in face of anxiety and may we be reminded that none of these determine our worth as humans.
 
The moment, we dive into liking or not liking the experience, we are already into judgement.
We are allowed to  judge.
It's ok to judge.
May we not let these judgments overtake us.

But once, pass this stage, however we choose to move, even if one step per day, moving to the unchanging, untouched, un-shattered inner core within us
From that point, we learn to navigate through the emotion or sensations.

We say “navigate” for we go  through this phase with the knowingness that we will learn, and it's ok to feel every single emotion without traumatizing and re-traumatizing self.
We say navigate for navigation is the part of the process of resilience building.

Now is the time to build resilience.
Our perceptions impact our resilience.
How we perceive this current phase matters, for unconsciously, we are planting seeds for years to come.

 
Below are links to youtube videos on how we may navigate through anxiety.

 Mauritian Kreole Version

English Version

Feel free to share with anyone who may need these words.
Stay Safe | Safety begins within
 
Reach out for support and to be supported.
It takes one grounded conversation, one voice, one act of hearing and being heard to shift our perceptions.

Love from my heart to yours

Image source: @Canvas

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

Space Be Held

"On the journey of the warrior-bodhisattva, the path goes down, not up, as if the mountain pointed toward the earth instead of the sky. Instead of transcending the suffering of all creatures, we move toward turbulence and doubt however we can. We explore the reality and unpredictability of insecurity and pain, and we try not to push it away. If it takes years, if it takes lifetimes, we let it be as it is."-Pema Chodron

None of us is insulated from the impacts of this crisis. We are all navigating an unfamiliar level of intensity in the emotional landscape, and it is vital that we cast, hold and nurture safe space to feel what we are feeling.

Space be held for the discomfort, for the dis-ease and for the screeching uncertainty.

Space be held for the fears, the tears, the restlessness and the sleeplessness.

Space be held for the anger, the loss, the instability and the grief.

Space be held for the overwhelming.

Positivity alone will not balance the tip on which humanity is crawling right now.

Bypassing the intensity of this transition through negating the fears, the tensions, the apprehensions will not ease our navigation.

Now is not the time to set development goals.

Now is not the time to fix self.

Now is the time to sit with the emerging rising suffering and move through and toward this turbulence and doubt however we can.

Now is the time to step into the dance of dark, immersing fully into the discomfort, without fixing, without shooing, without shying away.

Now is the time to gather self, ground in courage, build resilience for the weeks, months and years to come.

In weeks, months and years to come, this world will be called to step up for unpreceded mental, emotional, psychological and financial support, guidance and healing.

Now is the time to practice showing up vulnerably with our fears, our doubts, our confusions, our emotions, our feelings.

Now is the time to delineate what belongs to us and what belongs to the other, for this delineation will teach us to draw lines and own individual and collective responsibility for our inner and outer worlds.

Now is the time to sit with our fears, with the intent seeing, feeling, hearing and witnessing our seeing, hearing, feeling, touching, smelling, sensing and thinking. Through this process of meeting and facing, we will be humbled and opened deeper, for this opening and depth will be needed in weeks, months and years to come.

Some paddle strides on how to navigate through the anxiety:

1. Acknowledging the raising emotions

Denying the rising waves will worsen things ahead. Ahead can be just a day away or an hour away.

Acknowledge that which is showing up. Acknowledging does not mean we have to like it or dislike.

Acknowledging your fears, your worries, your discomfort, your emotions does not make of you weak, but rather this act of acknowledging opens possibilities to see through this phase and openings to explore.

2. What are the facts and what are the fictions?

While we are endless coating our worries, this coating will not last for long.

Now is the time to ask self:  what is real? What are fictions?

This intense sense of unsafe that I feel inside, what are the facts and what are the fictions?

What are I am feeling unsafe about?

Is it death?

Is it the roaring ripple of what I have lived, what I have gained, what I have accumulated are whooshing past my grip?

3. Grounding

Grounding is the act of becoming present to your physical body.

In this time of hyper arousal, we are many to be dwelling in non-stop thinking, unspoken rage, heightened fears of the unknown and possibilities of irrevocable lost, pains and wounds.

Ground yourself.

The simplest act of breathing and move your attention to your hands, touching your hands, looking at your feet.

A simple exercise, start becoming present to our hands and feet.

Pressing our hands, walking with deep awareness on our feet.

Each time, panic rises, pause and press your palms, touch your fingers and become aware of nature within your nature.

Please find link to a simple grounding exercise and feel free to repeat same over and over again in coming days.

GROUNDING EXERCISE

You may want to guide your kids, your close ones and your family through this exercise.

4. Support

Reach out for support, to support and to be supported.

The act of reaching out for support, to support and to be supported asks of us that we show up vulnerably, open, willing and ready to connect with self and others.

Support is to start home.

Now is the time to engage in deep honest conversations with your family, your children, your community.

What can be sustained over the long term?

What can no longer be sustained?

Who is to step up to own responsibility?

What new structures do we need now onwards?

Community is build, enhanced, nurtured and sustained through cohesive support to and for one another

5. Boundaries

Grounding is pre-requisite to dwelling in the quality of safety and safety does not exist without boundaries.

Boundaries are about deciding what is allowed in our space when, where, why and this process of deciding is dynamic, ever changing to be negotiated over and over again.

Now is the time to decide what you will allow in your space in terms of information, content, drama, people and energy.

Now is the time to choose and to draw boundaries.

Boundaries find their roots in our core values.

Now is the time to move back to our values, if not to uncover our values.

From this uncovering, may we be brave enough to assess whether our current living structures are built on these values.

From this view, we will be called to choose, whether to keep moving against our values or to gather strength and brave through the doubts and unseen, rooting new roots for an unknown future.

 May we become mirrors of

Kindness |Compassion | Gentleness | Love | Strength | Vulnerability | Resilience

To and for one another

This will pass | This phase will pass | This wave will pass

May we learn to honor

The Ugly, The Dirty, The Discomfort, The Filthy, The Unknown

The Uncertain, The Unclear

The Differences, The Diversities, The Divergences 

May we be reminded

It is only up to us to find our way through this phase

May we be learn to

Respect self and others through this navigation 

 Love from my heart to yours

 Megha Venketasamy

Feel free to reach out be it to share your concerns, your fears, your worries,your experiences, your insights, I am here, open, observing and holding space for us all.

Image source: @Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

Our Presence

In this time of hyper arousal, fellow humans rising, agitating, raising, moving and shaking from the possibilities of hurt, harm, death and unsafety.

In this time of unstop chatter, may we be reminded that our opinions matter less.

What we think, what we feel, what we believe, what we see, what we forsee, what we hear about the COVID19 matters less compared to our presence.

Precautions are to be taken; basics and necessities are to be attended to.

We will have to navigate through this phase, find our way to the end.

Many of us are wiggling at the thought of having to stay at home.

Many of us are prophesying “time of great change”.

Many of us are hurling at the possibilities of end, of hurt, of pains, of wounds, of loses and of this unknown.

We will eventually navigate through this phase. We will all do it our way individually first and collectively.

Allowing the other to navigate through her/his way and merely becoming a witness to this charade, this is the beginning of inclusiveness.

May we be reminded that, it is up to each one of us to find our own way through this phase.

Forcing, roaring, screaming, shouting about that which we believe to be right will end in waste of energy.

In this time of hyper arousal, our presence matters most.

Becoming present to our selves, our thoughts, our feelings, our narratives.

Becoming present for one another without uttering words, without reaching out to touch.

Becoming present to life right here right now.

Becoming present to our feelings, to our fears, to our emotions, to our worries, to that which we worry about.

Becoming present to what we are sending out in life, without speaking, without sharing, without writing.

 What are you present to right here right now?

What are your dominant feelings and thoughts?

Are you able to just be without fixing the discomfort of “not-knowing” the outcome of this phase?

 We are in phase. An unsafe phase.

We are in our physical spaces called home.

We are in our countries, called our land.

For most of us, regardless of where we are, home and land are unsafe and right now, we are being forced to find safety.

What is safety?

Do you feel safe?

Where is safety? Is it inside or outside?

What kind of safety do you need in this trying time

How do you show up in your own sense of safety in this phase?

Safety cannot exist without boundaries, in this trying time, what boundaries do you need to set for you to keep showing up in your sense of safety?

What do you have to communicate to your close and far ones so that your safety is honored, experienced and witnessed while teaching our close and far ones for the need of safety?

 We are in time of intensified chaos. Symbolically, energetically and from a creation point, chaos is the pre-creative phase. Chaos comes prior to heightened creative phase.

For those of us, in the southern hemisphere, our land is getting ready for winter. Many ages before, the weeks prior to winter, our ancestors would slow down, they would start the inward movement, stocking up, warming the homes gradually, collecting the remaining bounties from summer. Winter the time of inward caving, of deep reflecting, of intense receiving at all levels, a time of death, a time of shedding old skins to rejuvenate for spring.

For those of us in the northern hemisphere, we are right through the yang, the heightened movement energy, the doing energy, the masculine outward energy, summer is slowly oozing out, yet we are being asked to pause, to stop, to just be homes.

It is an interesting phase indeed , no matter what our perceptions are.

It is a phase of heightened diverging opinions, differences and diversity.

Holding Space for Differences, Diversity, and Divergence.

Are you able to hold space for differences, diversity and divergence?

Are you able to feel safe amidst the striking differences, diversity and divergence?

How can you ensure that everyday space is held to strengthen your sense inner safety enabling you to show up in this world in-spite of the outwards happenings?

In this phase of chaos, our presence matters most.

Through our presence we feed, nurture, heal, speak, give, receive to, through, for, with and within each other.

May we become present to our presence

May we be reminded that we are being called to ground

Grounding, the sacred act of returning to our physical body

May our feet and hands become the outward anchors of our heart, our love, our presence, our grace and our intentions

May we move, speak, see, witness, observe and gather intentionally through our presence

May we cast, hold and nurture safe spaces within and without

May we cast, hold and nurture safe spaces within and without for differences, diversity and divergences.

 Love from my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Feel free to reach out be it to share your concerns, your fears, your worries,your experiences, your insights, I am here, open, observing and holding space for us all.

Image source: @McKenna Phillips @Unsplash

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling

Finding our way to our calling

“On this journey to gaining clarity, recognizing, embracing, pacing, deepening and journeying with our calling, the unspoken, unacknowledged, hidden, shamed and undesired partners are fears, doubts, regrets, restlessness, faithlessness, confusions, fogging, trauma release, loses, shadows, dismantling of known structures, panic attacks, ungroundedness, triggers, sicknesses and much more are an integral part of this journey.”

Image Source @ Madhuras Srinivas http://www.madhurasrinivas.com/

March 2020 speaks of a journey that began ten years ago with an intention of listening to that inner voice which said,

“There has to be another way. Hurting cannot be the only way through life.”

This March marks my 10th anniversary of exiting the corporate world.

This March also marks my 10th anniversary of being off medications for allergies (I was diagnosed with acute sinus inflammation which would lead to tracheal contraction at any time during the day and night)

This March I celebrate ten years in the shifting, transformation and alchemizing of my physical, mental, emotional and energetic body. Ten years ago, I could not be hugged without feeling immense pain. Ten years ago, I dared not run my fingers on my skin for there was not a spared square of my body from soreness. Ten years ago, I would gasp for air through every move.

Ten years ago, I would not show up and speak up of my state, my fears, my emotions, my stories, my pains, my wounds and much more, for least did I know that growth lies in opening and that vulnerability is what connects me to me and me to the world.

3rd March 2010, I would embark on a journey that led me to where I stand today.

A complete evolution at varying levels in my life and most importantly, as the changes deepen

Did have I clarity on what I wanted to do?

No

Did I know how to ask for help and support?

No

Was I supportive of myself and my choices?

No. I have often doubted and struggled to believe.

Did I nibble myself off with fears and doubts about whether I made the right choice?

Yes. More than once

Did I judge myself for not putting myself out there in there world?

Over and Over again

Was I drawn to things that called to me naturally?

Yes

From my earliest memories, I have had a strong inclination to write, to talk, to whisper, to rewire systems.

I have always been fascinated with words, theories, nature, mystery and the unspoken.  

Have I questioned my purpose once I believed to have nailed it?

Endless and countless times.

If my fingers could speak, they would tell you of the times, I agonize in doubts for the sown seeds were not emerging.

Ten major lessons I have gathered through the last ten years

1. Fears and its ilks

Fears, doubts, regrets, restlessness, faithlessness, confusions, fogging, trauma release, loses, shadows, dismantling of known structures, panic attacks, ungroundedness, triggers, sicknesses and much more are what we will term as contradictions to what we are seeking. These are purposeful contradictions, from that space we may choose to build resilience, inner strength and muscles to ride the waves. Initially it hurts, confuses and pains and eventually, we learn to lean to seek openings with the knowingness that contradictions are temporary but purposefully lead us into a natural expansion of opening up and receiving our gifts.”

2. No Rush

There is no rush on this journey, be it for healing or for nailing one’s purpose.

There is no time line as to when we meet healing deadlines or projects linked to our purposes.

Many projects, what we term as seeds will incubate for years until both the seed and the seedler (us) have reached a level of maturity to step into the next phase.

Endless projects will fail to reap our expected return on investments. We will meet partners and we will part ways with the initial sense of failure.

Leaping is certainly not the way through.

3. Cycling Nature of Refining

This entire journey is an ongoing work –in-progress. What we will term as “life purpose” gets refined over and over again.

If our vision changes shape, form, colour, texture over the years, there is no worry to this, for the visionary within us knows that we are in truth, only carriers of a vision that is to be gifted, to be bestowed, to be shared and to be handed over to the world.

The essence of the vision is bound to evolve along with the visionary, that is, we who are carriers, nurturers, fathers and mothers of the vision.

If our vision did not shift across years, then we better pause and introspect into our growth path.

4. Our Shadows

Our shadows will have to be met if we seek to truthfully step in our role either as a facilitator or as a member of this world, whether we perform on an open stage or within closed doors.

If our journey rests in saving ourselves through saving others, then we will be run over eventually.

On this journey to what endless wiggle as “finding my life purpose”, uncovering and unveiling are to happen.

Our wounds, our pains, our stories, our narratives, our gifts, our love, our openings and  our closures will have to be met in equal grace, reverence and sacred.

The quality and depth of our meeting will impact on our quality and depth of being in service to our life purpose.

This is ugly, unglamorous part of the journey. This is the hopeless part of the journey, for such is the dance of healing. Crawling, crying, weeping, heaving and slowly taking it one day at a time.

5. Begin with one focus

It is not about clarity of the purpose but rather intent of choosing one focus and investing energy and allowing that energy to lead us further. This furthering will open doors ahead, whether we believe in it or not.

Most of us are scared of missing out that we had rather wait on signs than choosing to invest energy and allowing that invested energy to further us.

6. Vulnerability

To be vulnerable is to show up knowing that one has no control over the outcome.

I believe those who show up to answer the call which is termed as “life purpose”, we know whether consciously or unconsciously, there is no control over how things will turn up.

To be vulnerable also means to choose one focus and to invest energy with no guaranteed expected return but with the knowingness in this world of energy, no energy goes to waste.

Vulnerable means showing up and knowing that things will not always work out as per our plan, we will mess partnerships, we will err in our communicating yet with every steps there.

Beyond answering the call means we will step out and connect to the world and people around us instead of waiting.

Answering the call asks that we open up to the world, no purpose is attended to in isolated and in disconnect from this world.

7. Including

If we step into the world with the intention to prove everyone wrong, we are bound to knock ourselves off.

Regardless of what we believe to be right, to be purposeful, to be useful, to enlightening, to be divine, being in service of our life purpose begins with including.

Everyday , step out in the world with this intent to include, include when it seems hardest to do in the face of conflicts, chaos, pains, trauma, wounds, ugly, loss and wounds.

Including starts with self. The more we allow ourselves to be moved by our own story, the more we include our stories, our heritage, our lineage, the more we are able to include the other without needing the other to be same as us.

8. Identity

None of what we will do or choose to do, think, feel and be will ever define our identity even if we choose to state that our doing, being, thinking and feeling are connected to being in service of our life purpose.

This has been a huge lesson for me over the last ten years. Every speck of accumulated sense of external status, title, material possession, networks would disappear from my grips over and over again until I learned to focus on what I was within my constant and eternal reach, my core values and my vision.

9. Emotions

I have always felt deeply. I have felt to an extent of identifying myself with that which I feel and while feeling what I feel, my bodily cells would aid in amplifying every inch of feeling I could have experienced.

On this journey, emotional awareness is crucial.

The aim of emotional awareness is not to make feelings go away or bypass them. Rather the aim is to start building resilience, inner strength and muscles to ride the waves of emotions and sensations as they show up. Initially it hurts, confuses and pains and eventually, we learn to lean to seek openings with the knowingness that contradictions are temporary but purposefully lead us into a natural expansion of positive emotions such as relief, gratitude, , empowerment or joy. "

There is a fine line between experiencing our feelings and then identifying with it.

There is a fine line between feeling and then braving to see the story at the core, the story is the gift of the shadow, for once the story emerges, it can be re-claimed, re-conciliated with and re-written.

10. Circle of Support

This is a journey of coming to self and coming together.

I started shyly on my own, believing that I could make it on my own.

I believed and I still do believe that this is a solitary journey but not a lonely journey.

As humans we are wired up for belonging and connecting.

Hence, whatever be your life purpose, ensure you have a circle of support around you.

A circle of humans who will show up vulnerably infront of you.

A circle of humans who will not cringe from giving you honest feedback.

A circle of humans who will hold your back while you churn, brew and descend.

A circle of humans who will love you beyond your status, title and purpose.

 What is my life purpose?

I believe my life purpose is to cast, hold and nurture safe space for women and girls who will embark on their journey to re-claiming, re-conciliating, re-membering and re-writing their truth.

I believe my life purpose begins by casting, holding, nurturing safe space for myself while I walk to re-claiming, re-conciliating, re-membering and re-writing my truth.

There is no dissociation from my self and my purpose.

But beyond all, I believe that my purpose is answering the call to my inner voice over and over again.

My purpose is my commitment to life, for today I stand on a peak with this knowingness that there is absolutely no such thing that this life cannot hold, my drama, my trauma, my fears, my pains, my wounds, they are all embraced, acknowledged, loved, honored and held.

I pause in immense gratitude and grace

You who will recognize yourself as part and parcel of my journey

You will join my journey in years to come

I ripple out prayers of intent

May we rejoice in awakening

May we awaken each other

May we be seeds of love for self and this world

Love my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Image Source: Madhura Srinivas @ www.madhurasrinivas.com

Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.

Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling