My childhood and teenage years were loaded with domestic violence. I was not hit nor bullied but witness to acute violence at home. I know we are many who have been there and many who are still there in such spaces.
Our nervous has been intelligently designed to serve our survival. My nervous system intelligently served me by keeping me in the survival mode for years.
I have lived with unexplained anxiety, fears, sense of “something bad is about to happen”, unable to discern “safe and danger”. In my teenage years I would mount guard at night to ensure that nothing happen to my mother.
This kept the looping of danger on in my body. I oscillated between hyperarousal to hypo-arousal, being drained most of the time.
From the age of 14 to 19 I barely slept, I would watch out at night. I was not only living in danger but in a space of life danger. This led me to suffering from acute rhinitis allergies for years. I lost the curls of my hair at the age of 17years.
I went into relationships with this looping of danger. I have spent at least 35years of my life scanning the environment for whatever seems and looks like unsame for being unsame meant danger. One of my core beliefs was “the world is a dangerous place.”
What happens with such beliefs, “you struggle to trust people, low discernment, anxiety peaks, and so much more.” And the list of illnesses that show up in the body is unexplainable, high blood cholesterol, allergies, low immunity, chronic pain, chronic digestive issues, depression, sleepness. I have a list that I could name for myself.
Have you ever went to bed with heat running along your body and your head and no one can explained why?
Do you feel nausea often and for no reasons?
Do you feel easily offended and scared if people do not respond to you?
Do you live with unexplained anxiety?
Do you struggle with digestive issues?
Do you wake tired?
Do you struggle with a poor sleep quality?
And I know as you read this, you see yourself and part of your story unfolding here.
Our nervous works in service of our survival, however when we are unable to move out of the loop of danger into safety to connect and rest, life inside our body becomes dysregulated.
No matter how much talking therapy we do, something stays unmet.
The gathered energy of the past remains unprocessed. A state that began in the body is now held as beliefs in the mind. The body is stuck in the past and as result, cognitively we are stuck with negative stacking. Appreciating life, maintaining hope, lifting one’s state and much more become daily struggles.
Countless times, I gave up on people, on relationships out of deep fear. Yet something in my system never gave up. We are biologically wired to relate and to connect with one another. And no matter what we do, there will be always be an internal kick from our nervous system to seek this connecting, this relating with others.
I know you know this same looping. I know you are many to relate.
We hack this loop by shifting our state.
This has been my personal work and commitment for some years now. Finding safety in my body, in my internal environment, in my experiences no matter how uncomfortable they could be.
I offer what I have experienced. I work with you from an experiential space with the knowingness that our life differs yet danger, life threats and safety feel same inside without the barriers of words.
This is the foundation of my work, held in safety and I hold in safety.
Meet either in one-on-one session in coaching, co-regulation works, systemic works or in groups for my trauma-informed yoga classes.
Looking forward to meeting you and in togetherness we find safety inside outside.
Looking forward to be in service this year.
Here’s a brief to what I am offering this year in addition to my existing services.
In beauty and kindness.
Megha Venketasamy