What is our immediate response when “that which” shows up brings DISCOMFORT?
For the majority of us:
We close off
We close our hearts
We close our lungs
We close our lives.
Then we are left with this DISCOMFORT of being present to “something” that threatens our COMFORT.
That something is tagged as UNWELCOME. UNWELCOME is experienced as DISCOMFORT.
We feel harmony is being threatened.
That “something” could be the death of a close one, the end of a relationship, the emancipation of a child, a change in career, professional redundancy, changing homes, meeting new persons, dining with in-laws, hosting guests, presenting a project, engaging with a group of people, diverging opinions- be it political, religious, spiritual, cultural, intellectual, social …
That “something” is the UNWELCOME and our experience of the UNWELCOME is that which ushers in DISCOMFORT.
We identity and label the “DISCOMFORT” through our feeling and the threads of our thoughts.
The “DISCOMFORT” shows up as a challenge to the current status quo or the set vision.
UNWELCOME is experienced as DISCOMFORT. None of us wants the UNWELCOME in our lives, in our space and as part of our plans. None of us want uneasiness, hardships, loses, pains and contradictions in our lives.
We live our lives planning for the WELCOME and when the UNWELCOME announces itself we cry and wiggle. The UNWELCOME ushers DISCOMFORT.
Tell me the story of your UNWELCOME (that which you planned to happen but something else shows up)
What is present in your life right here and right now that brings DISCOMFORT to you?
How are using the word DISCOMFORT?
What are the feelings?
What are the thread of thoughts?
What are the sensations?
What has led you to label that which has showed up as “DISCOMFORT”?
If you were to tell me the story of your UNWELCOME through images, colours, sounds, shapes, textures, movements, then what would I see, hear and feel?
On a scale of 0-10, what is your current level of ease in companion of your UNWELCOME? (0 being “no ease” and 10 being “highest level of ease”)
What is next?
How do we fix this discomfort?
How do we reverse the status?
What are the solutions?
“There is no fixing of DISCOMFORT. There is no plaster solution to DISCOMFORT. DISCOMFORT calls forth to be acknowledged. We do not have to like or love or be grateful for DISCOMFORT. Choosing to navigate through DISCOMFORT is a choice. We can either park DISCOMFORT for later or numb ourselves or ignite the flight mode. Whatever we choose we will harvest the fruits of our seeds ahead.”
One recurring theme since end of last year is “navigating through the DISCOMFORT of the UNWELCOME.”
The more I become present to my life and the more I witness the lives of women I journey with, I grow in the awareness that “It is less about the situation but more about our inability to honor and navigate through DISCOMFORT.”
It is not death of a close one but this inability to give self space and time to grieve.
It is not the closure of a relationship but this inability to dream beyond the pains.
It is not the diverging opinion but this inability to open up and receive from that which is different.
(words of caution – these words flew through me and in no way, are they absolute in their selves. They symbolically represent the essence of the theme. Allow yourself to see beyond and if these words bring DISCOMFORT, then ask yourself, what am I in DISCOMFORT to right here right now?)
Whenever UNWELCOME announces, there is no rushing through this process.
One can either walk through or numb oneself or fight one’s way away from it.
Walking with UNWELCOME through DISCOMFORT asks for vulnerably opening the heart with this faith that we shall grow and glow through this process.
Journeying with UNWELCOME calls for a change in our hearts, finding that soft spot and that tenderness in that DISCOMFORT and staying with it.
UNWELCOME teaches us, reminds us, guides us to witnessing the polarity of life and death, day and night, the co-existence of COMFORT and DISCOMFORT.
Many years before, our ancestors understood this. They held space for life while death was honored and revered as part of the circle of life.
Our resistance to experiencing and witnessing the UNWELCOME for we are quick to retaliate in face of DISCOMFORT, is what deepens the painful trance.
I believe from now onwards, individually and collectively, we are called to hold space for UNWELCOME and it’s DISCOMFORT.
We are called to remember and re-member that both WELCOME and UNWELCOME, COMFORT and DISCOMFORT have co-existed from the beginning of time and within we have enough, we are enough to navigate through if we choose to.
May we gather strength, love, care, nurture, community, wisdom and vision from and through the WELCOME and the COMFORT.
May we open up to learn, to service, to purge, to love, to deepen, to vision, to envision, to create and to co-create from and through the UNWELCOME and the DISCOMFORT.
May we be vulnerable and kind towards ourselves
May we tender to the PAINS | TEARS| FEARS| LOSS| TRAUMA |SHAKES that show up
May we reach out for support
May we show up to and for our communities
May we honor our voices
May we bow in reverence to our tears
May we stand in remembrance of sacred life and death
May we hear that seeking help and support is an act prayer for self and the collective
Love from my heart to yours
Megha Venketasamy
Image source: @Mohammed Nohassi Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2020. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use and Sharing: Feel free to use the Share on FB or Reblog for personal, non-commercial or educational use with all links intact. If you are an organization, institution or individual seeking to use this material for promotional purposes, please ask first. If wanting to include this information, and/or the ideas explored therein into your workshop materials, teachings or written work, please cite this article and author accordingly. All information provided on this post is non-liable and is not intended to replace professional legal, medical, psychological, psychiatric and/or financial counselling