I am slowly emerging from an intensely intense weekend and rushing week, celebrated my “born day” on 22nd April and we had our first heart to heart conversation through “Whispers of Faith” off Mauritius, in Bangalore.
Couple of hours before my born day, an incredibly strong woman asked me this question “Just curious to know what drives you?”
I do not know if what I am about to share will serve you in any possible way but I do know that what I am about to say comes from my truth at this moment in time.
MY COMMITMENT TO SERVING MYSELF DRIVES ME. I took an oath in 2010 that of never letting the limits of the past define me. It has not been an easy path since, for SUCH SELF-OATH ASKS OF ME TO SLAUGHTER MY FAKED SELF AND THERE IS NO END TO THIS PATH.
MY OPENING UP TO MY WOUNDS DRIVES ME. My 2010 oath takes me ongoingly to what I have seen, felt, heard and experienced of life so far. A life that has brought its share of love and wounds. I know that the only way through is to open myself to my wounds and face them. There have been days when I literally felt like I was dying. Along way I have learned and I am still learning that THERE IS NO WRONG OR RIGHT BUT RATHER WHAT AND HOW AND WHY YOU CHOOSE TO HOLD SPACE CONSCIOUSLY FOR WHATEVER IT IS IN YOUR LIFE.
MY LEARNING TO LET GO OF “BEING IN CONTROL”. Letting go of a corporate job, getting on new ventures, moving out of unhealthy relationships and instances- all these shake and fragile our seemingly grounded stability. For years now, my own notion of stability has been on rewire mode. And yes, I have had panic attacks and deep anguish in the beginning, FOR WHEN YOU STEP OUT INTO THE UNKNOWN, YOU EITHER ALLOW YOURSELF TO LEARN TO NAVIGATE THROUGH OR YOU WIGGLE ETERNALLY OUT OF YOUR NEED TO CONTROL.
Back in 2010, I had no idea that my life will shape the way it is unfolding right here right now and I do know that I will never choose otherwise.
MY “TRUSTING” MYSELF. Ask anyone and he/she will answer “I do not trust or at least, I do not trust everybody or somebody or those persons or these persons.” I have learned and I am still learning that “trust begins with oneself and ends with oneself.” TRUSTING THAT YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH; TRUSTING THAT LIFE WILL SUPPORT YOU THROUGH YOU, FOR YOU AND BY YOU; TRUSTING THAT LIFE WILL CONSPIRE ON YOUR BEHALF TO GET YOU TO EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE MEANT TO.
MY GIVING AND RECEIVING FROM MY VULNERABLE SELF. Humans flow when there is a balance in giving and receiving and for this to happen to a depth close to Divine, vulnerability must be ever present, allowing one's self to be seen, heard and felt and then moving through this world from that very vulnerable part. Changes, shifts and transformations peak through vulnerability. I write, I live, I smile, I laugh, I cry, I die, I share, I learn, I connect, I rejoice, I co-create and I whisper from my inner most vulnerable part for this is from where my strength leads; for this is from where our strength leads.
MY SURRENDERING TO LOVE. I used to think that I am believer but only now I am growing into awareness what “surrendering to love” means. A love omnipresent within and through every animate and inanimate in this Universe. A love nameless, shadeless, colorless and fadeless. A love that destroys, co-creates, feeds, nurtures, preserves and annihilate. MY SURRENDERING TO MOVE CLOSER TO DIVINE WITHIN. Such choices annihilate all that one have ever been and it can be a painful process as one try hard to hang on to past beliefs and truth.
Sufi says
“in the end, your inner gifts are insignificant but rather how you flow and swirl through and within life through your inner gifts is what matters most. Your serving this world asks of you to serve your self first. Your serving your self first asks of you to move closer to all that has been and all that will ever be.”
I believe this is what drives me, this knowningness that life will never give up on me, no matter how broke, broken, hate, hated, doom, doomed, fade, faden, I may see, feel and hear.
As we reach the end of this sharing, I am just curious to know what drives you! What is it from within that drives you? What is coming in your way for you to see, feel and hear that drive?
Do reach out and let us know what drives you.
Much love light vibes
May Whispers Be. May Faith Be
Megha Venketasamy
Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2018. All rights reserved.
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